Goodbye.

You still left afterall, probably i'm not that person you would fight for till the end. 
As much as i miss you, i won't forget what i promise you, that i won't cling on to you nor pester you anymore. 

You ought to leave one day you see. One day, you're gonna find someone that understands you, someone that knows clearly what you like or don't like, someone that will have endless conversation with you, someone who knows how to cheer you up, make you smile/laugh.
& i apologize i can't be that someone. I know myself well, i don't have the ability to make you happy, i don't understand you, our conversation always end halfway. 

Probably you made the right decision, to end these torture between us, so that none of us will suffer anymore. We're not meant to be in the first place, yet it's a miracle that we could make it till now.

My classmates used to bet that we won't make it through three months, and when the third month pass, I rang them up and told them happily, "fuck your we won't make it through third month, WE BREAK THE CURSE BITCHES." 

something that i never told you yeah? 

This time round, although it still hurts, but thinking it might be a good chance for you to find someone that understands you, knows how to make you smile, i guess, all the heartaches will be worth it. 

Although i got a thousands of unwillingness, but if it's for your happiness, no matter how tough it is, i'll let you go. 

It's been a tough night, knowing that you won't return anymore. Letters after letters, Trying to make myself cry so i will feel so much better. Questions after questions, it's only the first day, How am i gonna survive for the next few days, weeks, months, years? 

The thoughts of not receiving your messages, thoughts of you not answering my calls, thoughts of not going out with you anymore kills me. I'm really afraid of the days without you, it's like i've been revolving around you for the past few months, you're all that i think of, all that matters, but i still lose you in a split of second. 

I thought we'll actually make it through all the tests, but it seems like we're weak enough to get through them. I wish i know what to say so i won't fucked things up times over times. It seems like it's always because i use the wrong words to say what i wanna say. Now that it's all too late, nothing i say, could have you anymore, so goodbye my love, 74 days with you have been a great one. I'm sorry for all that i've done, that hurt you, or disappoint you. Sorry that i've fail to abide all my promises. Sorry that i've fail to be the one you want. All the best to you, my precious lesson learnt. 

As for now, i'm gonna learn how to appreciate what i've, and i'm gonna be here till you're back. Anytime that you feel like coming back, just turn your head and i'll be here.